1. What is your quarantine routine? Let me know whether or not you are working. What is getting through your day? Absolutes must do’s and don’t. Do you have special days to make life more exciting? What take out are you currently craving?

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  2. The introvert and depression side of me is having a battle with my sanity side. This week I got word that I could potentially be going back to work in May. That is when the stay at home order ends for me currently and there are a few other items that need to be in place before I go back to work. 

    My first reaction was, “I could stay at home for another month.” That is the introvert and depression side of me talking.

    The sanity side is saying how grateful I should be for getting my job back. Applying for unemployment and grants are a hassle. At least if I was working, I would know I have a steady stream of income. In this reality, it should be that having my job is less stressful than not having a job. 

    But it is not.

    Not having to stress out everyday to be my extroverted self has been really freeing. I now always have an excuse to not go to work because I can’t. I don’t have to go to any social events nor respond to anyone. Corona virus has been the perfect excuse for everything. A big part of me is not ready to give that up. Maybe it means I need a job where I am able to work from home. That in itself is another can of worms. I think there needs to be a change where I am excited to go to work. 

    Also, there is potential I could lose my job again. If everything the health officials say is true, then we have another year and a half before life really goes back to normal. So yes, maybe we reopen again in May. Life sort of goes back to normal and then it gets worse.

    Can we take another side track of what is normal? I work in the restaurant industry. For me that means wearing gloves and a mask constantly. Being full service. Having to constantly wear a mask, fills me with dread. It is really hard to be personable when half of your face is covered. My job rely on tips and that means being friendly, talking to guests. Trying to talk through a mask for me is difficult. Maybe I just have weak lungs, but it is difficult to breath through a mask. Oh and my glasses fog up quite a bit. I have been putting a piece of tissue behind my mask to combat the fog, but once the tissue is wet, it doesn’t work as well. If these are the steps we need to take to be safe, of course I will take them. But going to a restaurant won’t be the same anymore. In my mind, it almost seems like it will be a robotic transaction. 

    Overall, I don’t want to seem like I am complaining or coming off as ungrateful. If I can get my job back, yes I am going back to work. I won’t refuse. If I have to wear a mask and gloves, yes I am going to because that is my job. I am just sad to have the part of my job that I really enjoy, be taken away from me which is connecting with people. 

    I am also afraid of getting sick. Even though I am not the demographic that is high risk, I don’t want to be passing it along. Also, just don’t want to get sick. Getting the corona virus doesn’t sound like all that fun to me. I feel like I shouldn’t have to choose work or my health, but I do. 

     

  3. Quarantine, at least for me, is a lot harder when the days are gloomy. There is barely any physical evidence that the day has gone by except for when i look at a clock. At least when the days are nice and warm, I feel more normal. It is almost like the world saying, “Hey, everything is going to be okay.” There is one thing to know that there is gloom and doom and it is another when the weather matches that gloom and doom. Makes everything just a tad bit more gray, slower, unsure, worrisome. 

     

  4. Tips for Quarantine.

    I never thought I would write tips on how to survive being stuck inside, but here I am. My number one tip for quarantining is…

    1. Get an air purifier! Originally, I got it because I recently got guinea pigs and having all the hay and bedding in the air really made me sneeze. Plus, where I am it is spring/summer time so, we are in full bloom allergy season. Now that I am stuck inside all day everyday, it is really nice to know that I can turn on my air purifier and be able to breath in fresh, clean air without having to go outside. Being able to breath clean air inside, makes a difference to my day mentally and physically. My allergies are more under control and I might be able to trick my mind for a bit that I went outside even though I never left my bed. 

    2. Save your pasta jars! Especially if they are the glass ones with the oz labeled on the sides. Ever since I moved out, I have always saved my pasta jars and used them as cups. I love how big they are and having the oz on the side has been super useful. I just moved into a new apartment and then corona happened so, I am not fully set up meaning I don’t have any measuring devices. Being able to use the pasta jars has been super helpful. One cup = eight oz. Also, I love these using to make drinks. It helps with the ratio of alcohol to whatever mixer you want. They are also great for making iced coffee. Lately, I have been making instant coffee/cold brew and putting it in the fridge or freezer if I am impatient. Pasta jars have multiple uses. Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle.

    3. Take time to bake cookies! I have a big sweet tooth. I would say a lot of my outings are revolved around that. I love getting an iced, sweet beverage or a croissant at the local bakery. There is always something that is so sweet and simple always taste better when I didn’t have to make it. But those places are closed right now. The next best thing is to bake them yourselves. I don’t mean you need to be the next star baker, but instead of buying Oreos or Chips Ahoy, get some raw cookie dough. Take the two minutes to portion out the cookie dough in a sheet pan, throw that pan in the oven between 12-15 minutes depending on how you like your cookies, and let those cookies cool down for ten minutes. Being able to eat a cookie still warm from the oven, even though I didn’t work in the kitchen all day, gave me the same feeling that I would get when I went out and got a sweet treat. It doesn’t have to be cookies. Can be anything you desire sweet or savory. There are an assorted mixes for cakes, biscuits, cookies, pies, etc. Just gotta pick your poision. 

    TBC.

     

  5. I have always had an interest in writing. One of my dream jobs was being a journalist or a blogger, but I felt like I had nothing to say. Or if I did have something to say no one would listen. Plus, I thought I was horrible at writing. I remember a teacher telling me so. Probably not phrased that way, but that was the point of the message. When you are in school, they teach you how to write a certain way. By certain way, I mean tests. These academic tests that followed rules and outlines. They want you to say giant words, have perfect grammar, but also realize that the message is something bigger than just the text on the page. 

    I was never one to understand what these tests want. I always did poorly in all sections writing and math. Reading I was actually good at. Because I had to write in this format, I feel like my interest in writing really deter me from pursuing it further until now.

    There are other factors why I didn’t pursue it more such as my crippling anxiety of caring what others thought, knowing my writing wasn’t the best, getting rejected on something I knew I was already bad at, but didn’t want it confirmed by others. 

    After over a year and a half of therapy, I finally feel like I am on the path of who I want to be. Hopefully in another year and a half, I can say that I am that person. 

     

  6. People are disgusting.

    I read an article yesterday of this 51 year old Asian woman being attacked and harassed by four teenage girls. They assaulted her with an umbrella and blamed her for the corona virus. She had to go to the hospital to get stitches on her head due to the assault. Now these girls have been arrested and are going to be charged with a hate crime.

    This disgusts me on several different levels.

    The most disgusting thing about this story is how young these girls are. They are teenagers. I am just so disappointed at whatever or whoever let them think that being racist is okay. That attacking someone is okay. To blame someone that they don’t have anything to do with is okay. I hope these girls pay for what they did because it is not okay. I just can’t imagine what kind of thinking that it takes to get to that level. Honestly, I am such at a loss for words to even describe how I feel. I hope that they pay to what they did to this woman. I hope that everyone pays for their hate crime during this time of crisis. 

    It disgusts me that these girls thinks it is okay to attack this woman when hospitals are already overrun with patients, low on supplies, and putting their lives at risks everyday to combat this virus. Not only are our limited resources are being used for something that shouldn’t have happened, it is also putting this woman more at risk for the virus. So not only did she have to deal with a hate crime, she also has to expose her self even more. 

    I just can’t believe how selfish people are. 

    I was just thinking that could have been my mom. My mom is roughly around that age and I would use every resource I have to make sure she got justice. I hope that woman gets her justice. That she won’t let this get her down.

    Now I am all worked up.

    But at the same time, this also makes me scared to go outside. Lately, I have been wearing a baseball cap for two reasons. 1. To keep my hair back so, I don’t touch my face. 2. So, I can cover my face. At first, I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Every single time we walked by someone, I would immediately put my head down to cover my face. When I recognize what I was doing, I realized that I am scared. I have this little rock in the pit of my stomach whenever I go out making sure to be aware of my surroundings. Never going anywhere without my husband. Just in case someone tries anything. 

    I hear the snide comments. I see people walking more than the six feet apart from me. I see them giving me the side glances. I wish I could say I was being paranoid and people are just following the CDC guidelines, but I am not. I have dealt with racism my whole life. I know when it is happening. I know when someone is judging me by how I look. I know when someone looks at me with disgust in their face and why they are disgusted. 

     

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  8. Stress Dreams

     

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  10. It is okay.

     

  11. Nothing is really free.

     

  12. Let’s stop calling COVID-19 the “Chinese” virus.

     

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  15. My thoughts on coronavirus…